I guess a lot has happened but also not a lot has happened, stupid statement. well, i've had a few romances.. which have been hit and miss's. the first real one was with a dude i met in a club called Rats .. how romantic eh? he turned out to be a weirdo who stopped calling/messaging for no reason.. i think he was bipolar or something cos i saw some sorta pills in his kitchen that he had hid away soon after. crazy pills? i hope so cos that would be validating. he was in some whimsical post rock band that i pretended to like (i was delusional and smitten so anything would have sounded good to me) , they're not successful so that helped heal the wound. and i met other dudes who distracted me which was a series of brief hit and miss's. i met up with this dude i knew from tumblr but he had met my best friend in real life so it was all legit and safe so i didn't risk getting pedo-ed. he was a cool dude but i didn't click with him and he seemed a little on the arrogant side.. which is probably just a judgement from a first impression but you can sense these things. i havent seen him since January and i dont really care. i then met this peruvian dude at a d&b club, we got along like a house on fire, just talked and talked with no awkward pauses (wow!). but i got a bit too silly and let him feel me up the first night outside of federation square by the Yarra. kinda scummy. we did end up going on a second date which went well but he kept encouraging me to drink a lot and got a little sleezy, which worked cos i ended up fucking him. woops. and i never saw him again! he only texted to ensure i wasnt up the duff cos the condom leaked. oh well kif kif i soon discovered after facebooking him that hes a conservative chauvinist so that wouldnt have worked anyway. and then there was my video store boy. oh video store boy . the most treasured romance i think ill have for quite some time, he was so so great. it started out as an unrequited love from a distance sorta thing. i was a regular customer and sorta joked about being infatuated with him, blogged about it, immaturely brought my friends in with me to the vid store to check him out. but i was actually really obsessed with him, trying to find him on the internet and failing. so one night i just got semi tipsy and marched in and asked him out. success! he was so nice and on our first date at a little pub we chatted about music and his favourite writer Bukowski and then he invited me back to his 'to get some beers and pizza and listen to some records' ahhhhh that night was heaven. even though i had sworn not to sleep with him on the first date, it happened just after he showed me his impeccable cd collection and i had pulled out Joni Mitchell's Blue and he had proceeded to play his favourite JM album Hejira I believe it was, next thing i know we're in bed.
that romance lasted over two months, as soon as i thought we were legit he called it quits. ouch. he said he wants to be alone and still wants to be friends. i took it well when he told me but as soon as he walked out out i lost it, i didn't cry but i had this strange overwhelming feeling. like i had been hit by a great force. i couldn't sleep nor eat, i felt ill. i did go to work the next day but boy i felt rough. its been a month now and i still think about him everyday, though i dont feel hurt anymore. ive accepted it but theres still a great feeling of love for him, he was so beautiful and i dont know how any other guy could match him. my bar of standards has been raised! the thing is he wasnt some successful mega hunk, he was so humble and well, he was just a simple average dude.
