Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Anxiety

I have social anxiety, which is common. I get extremely nervous and stressed in certain social situations and my body reacts in a strange way. But, whatever, that's cool.
What I have come to notice is I get distressed when I see something visually unappealing, I don't know if this is normal but I've never heard of a term to classify it yet. I was sitting at my desk, filling in time at work, doodling some geometric style drawing, shading in the squares, etc etc. Then I made a boo boo with the drawing, it came out wrong and a headache started to form as I was trying to fix it. I couldn't stand to see this drawing, its inconsistency made me feel physically sick. Hang on, isn't this like OCD? Probably, but headaches? Is that normal? Or is that too much coffee in my system? Enough with the rhetorical questions? Yes.
Don't you ever look at somebodies ugly shoes and just want to make them take them off and throw them into a burning pit? I remember multiple different times when I'd just stare at somebody's ugly shoes (it often seems to be shoes in particular) and wonder, why? Why did you pick those? What could you possibly see in that? Its a travesty! I find bad shoes more offending than a t-shirt with a semi sexist slogan, ("Lets toss a coin, I win both ways cos I'll either get head or tail") .
I have a headache now, maybe its the ugly formatting of this site.

what am i doing here?

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suits

On the tram this morning, peak hour, crowded, mainly business men, fully engaged with their iPhones. My headphones broke a few weeks ago so I've become more intuitive of other people on public transport nowadays. My hearing has probably improved too, thank goodness. What I have noticed lately is how deceiving business men are. You'd think they would be as straight as an arrow, no shocking history or past that conflicts with what they are now. My ultra good hearing detected that the businessman sitting next to me was listening to heavy metal. A bald, mid thirties, slightly overweight man playing sodoku on his flashy gadget was listening to metal music. I found that funny. Then I tried to picture him 15 or 20 years ago, whether he was in the grunge/metal scene back in the early 90s. Look at him now, I would have never guessed. Now the guy next to him, he was younger, early 30s, gel in his hair, listening to trance. I guess I could see it, but I couldn't imagine this guy at a club dancing hard-style on ecstasy, or am I being too stereotypical?

Monday, March 29, 2010

Giddy up!

May I introduce myself... Well not fully. I'm 18, female and Australian. I tend to write long sentences so bare with me. My year 12 English teacher hated me because I found it impossible to separate my long sentences. Writing has never been my thing, but ever since I had recently found myself employed fulltime I feel its something I should brush up on, as well as something to fill in the many mundane gaps of my day. I am a receptionist if you're wondering.

I don't know where to start...